And Advice, when doing so!
Imagine you really feeling this girl. She cute, she smart, and got it going on. Then BOOM, she tells you she’s a single mother. PAUSE.
Just because she is a mom does not mean, that’s a red flag. But when she tells you that, there are some things you must consider before moving forward to see if this is for you.
- You get to see first- hand how she treats her child. If you are looking forward to having a child or more with her, you will already get to see how she is as a mother and how she would treat your child(ren)
- Single-moms are all about their business. They have absolutely no times for games (unless it’s their son’s video games) Single-mothers can be very particular when it comes to allowing a guy in their space. If she’s giving the opportunity, don’t waste her time!
- They have a lot of patience. Single-moms have a weirdly insane amount of patience because they are doing everything on their own whilst dealing with emotionally unstable little beings
- Don’t Force it. Don’t force a relationship with her child(ren) let it come naturally.
- Just because she is a single mother does not mean she has “Baby Daddy” drama *insert eye roll*
- Ask her questions about her child(ren). Every parent loves to talk about their kids, showing interest in her family life will be plus in her book
- Plan.Plan. As a single-parent, you cannot expect her to be able to just go out wherever and whenever. If you want to do an activity with her, plan so she can make the proper arrangements!
- The kids come first. That is just the way it is. More than likely she will always have her phone on her in case of an emergency. Don’t take it personally. Some days she may have to cancel because her kid got the flu. Be understanding and give emotional support.
- Single-mothers have a lot of love to offer to the right man. Why does Society view black single-moms as bitter and angry? That may be true for some, but that stereotype makes is hard in the dating world for those who aren’t like that.
****YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT WHEN YOU ARE DATING A SINGLE-MOTHER YOU ARE “DATING” HER LITTLE FAMILY TOO ****
What I mean by this, is that if you are SERIOUS and want to be her in life… you must be in the kid’s life as well. When you guys are established, you will be the Male role model (if there are no other male figures around) and father-figure in the picture. Before you even thinking about dating her, you must ask yourself if you are ready to accept those challenges? Are you willing to love, and nurture another man’s child as if it were your own? Do you believe you are willing to be present in the kids and the mother’s life? Are you a family man? Ask yourself all these questions before you go interrupting her life and blocking her blessings. With that said I would like to leave this quote for the fellas…
“the biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving”
Single-mothers, do you have anything you want to add? Comment below with your input!
Peace, Love & Melanin
-The Brown Mom