Stalking your ex raises your blood pressure

Sis, look at you, spending hours of your day stalking your ex’s page on Facebook. Shit, I’m surprised he hasn’t blocked you by now. Are you watching his Snapchat story to see if he’ll be posted up with a new chick? Are you sending your friends to add him so you can be up to date on all his whereabouts?


 If he is not checking for you then you shouldn’t be checking for him either!

This is for the ladies stalking their exes’ weeks, months and years after a breakup. I am pretty sure almost all women past 20 years old have fallen so in love with someone and it ended up being a fail for whatever reason. Love truly is blind. Some can move on easily but there are those of us who won’t give up. Something about that relationship, we can’t let go of.

Nothing good comes out of stalking your ex. Soooooo


If you haven’t already, you will become obsessed, get your feelings hurt and probably miss your real blessings. A hard pill to swallow is that that person just wasn’t the one for you. It’s okay to feel upset, and you may even cry sometimes…. But trust in the Universe that the one for you will come your way. What will self-pity do for you in the long run? Absolutely Nothing.

  1. Pray/Meditate: If you want someone, it’s never too early to start praying for them or setting good intentions for them. Speak health into their life, protection and so forth. Just because you haven’t met them yet doesn’t mean you can’t support them spiritually. Pray to God or meditate with Rose Quartz.
  2. Take time to yourself: If you are stuck on your ex, baby girl you have no business being in a relationship right now. If you do that you will end up hurting someone else and start a new cycle of hurt. Take this time to properly heal from that past relationship. It is time to set that baggage down and free your hands. If you are not fully healed, you will not be able to receive the love God has for you.
  3. Stop Looking for your EX: You are constantly checking his snap, is a self-sabotaging tactic. While they out here living their best life, you’re stuck on those old memories of what could’ve been. It’s not healthy for your emotional or mental health. Remove him from your phone, social media, whatever you need to do. It is time to focus on the now and focus on you.
  4. Go out: Anywhere you want to go, whether it be down the street or another country. When you go out, you get the chance to meet new people and create new experiences. I love going out with friends. You may even meet your new boo!
  5. Date Casually: There is nothing wrong with having options and seeing what’s out there. I personally suggest not focusing on only one person, because if they mess up, you got no one to replace them (LMAO). Sometimes a girl just needs a good orgasm to get over their ex *insert shoulder shrug*. You better enjoy your life HUNTYY, OKUURRR. Right now you may be emotionally unavailable, so there is no need to be exclusive with anyone.
  6. Say your daily Affirmations: I am enough, I am deserving, I attract the right people, I am happy, I am healthy, I am beautiful, I love my life.
  7. Know, it’s okay to let go. Better is coming your way.

Peace, Love & Melanin

-The Brown Mom




  1. September 27, 2018 / 10:01 am

    This was an amazing read. Well done you! The sentiments expressed, I share as well. It is hard after a break up but ‘stalking’ helps no one. Cut the ties. I also love your ideas for overcoming the urges. Pray yes, for those of us who do. Love it!!!

  2. September 27, 2018 / 12:27 pm

    Social media makes it so easy to hold onto the trash we should have thrown away long ago. Boy, bye! I say 😉

  3. September 27, 2018 / 3:39 pm

    This post speaks to me because I’ve been that girl guilty of not getting over someone. I’m finally able to learn how to move on. I think my son helped me with the process. Thank you for this insightful post. I can surely relate and I suddenly feel a sense of relief from your blog. Simply because you know what people are going through.

  4. September 27, 2018 / 3:40 pm

    A very different yet amazing post. Although you may think that checking up on your ex on social media is stalking, it is actually a completely normal behavior following a breakup. You may want to see who your ex is with and what the person is doing in the hopes that your ex feels as miserable as you. But this can create a bad cycle of using social media for reassurance that ultimately makes you feel worse.

  5. September 27, 2018 / 4:21 pm

    Great post! It can be so easy to fall into the stalking trap, even if that’s not what you meant to do in the first place. It’s almost like an accident on the highway…your ex’s social media pages practically scream at you to look at them. Just don’t do it. Believe you are better than that and move on. Your tips are spot on! Thank you for posting.

  6. Meg
    September 28, 2018 / 9:13 am

    LOL. I love the way you balance humor with real deep practical advice. This blog is awesome!

  7. Katie Werthmann
    September 28, 2018 / 12:25 pm

    I learned my lesson over a decade ago because I found out that Not only was my ex dating the person that he had been emotionally cheating on me with, I was basically watching them strike up a romance right at the dinner table, but because I was being catty and nosey I found out that he had started dating her 5 days after I broke up with him. In those days he spent time crying over me and our failed relationship and how he could have been so selfish and childish and what not only to be over it by Friday! So sometimes it might feel good or just scratch that nosey Edge to see what your ex is up to you but ultimately it’s just like was snooping when you find things that you never wanted to find out.

  8. September 29, 2018 / 7:06 pm

    Love reading you! You have a great sense of humor!!

  9. October 3, 2018 / 12:46 pm

    Girl, your ex never is and never will be worth your physical or mental health. Thanks for the tips.

  10. Michelle
    October 11, 2018 / 10:31 pm

    I absolutely love #6, say your daily affirmations. You won’t believe how much this works. Speaking positive things to yourself changes your whole attitude! Love this post!

  11. October 11, 2018 / 11:00 pm

    This was an amazing post. Definitely need to pass this along to a friend or two

  12. October 11, 2018 / 11:45 pm

    I’m by no means a stalker, but there are some amazing takeaways. I pray and meditate with my Rose Quartz. I also need to get back on track with praying for the man God has for me. I am also a firm believer in affirmations and this just inspired me to write some just about my future husband. Thank you!

  13. October 13, 2018 / 8:25 am

    That first tip really struck me. I love the idea of praying for someone you haven’t met yet!

  14. December 1, 2018 / 3:50 pm

    I will never in my life understand why people do this. It’s so unhealthy for countless reasons! I’m so thankful that stalking an ex has never been a vice of mine.

  15. Alexandra
    December 1, 2018 / 8:23 pm

    Yes girl!! So much truth here. No matter the temptation, it is time to walk away and look after yourself first!!

  16. December 2, 2018 / 2:33 am

    Your post had me laughing out loud! Lots of important truths accompanied with an amazing sense of humour. Really great!

  17. December 2, 2018 / 4:45 pm

    I could not imagine how people cope in this day and age with social media, it was bad enough when I was young and you used to hear all the rumours

  18. December 2, 2018 / 11:09 pm

    Right??? If you are done, be done. I love your tips, they are ones that will help you grow and get past all the negative.

  19. December 6, 2018 / 10:56 pm

    Yes! sometime you just have to let go for sure! They are just not worth your time!

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