Tips to living life as the “Fat Friend”

True Life: I’m the Fat Friend


Something happened to me last weekend. I got all dressed up ready to go out with my friends, I asked my brother to take some pictures of me. I did all my poses and when he handed my phone back to me and I went through the pictures… my heart damn near dropped.

I was devastated to see all those rolls that I somehow never noticed. MY GOD I let myself go.


Long story short: I went to the event and left early because I was feeling so sad and embarrassed.

                       Yup. There went my night.


*Fat Freind: The person who is noticeably bigger/larger than the other person or persons in a friendship*

But no more wallowing in those insecurities! For a minute I forgot who I was and where I came from. We don’t do that anymore! We are bigger & better than that! Which led me to come with these Tips to help you out when you’re the “Fat Friend“.


1. Love yourself regardless of the weight!  We are so much more than the numbers on the scale. I spent years feeling insecure around my smaller friends, and I don’t want this to be you!

2. Can’t continue to let those insecurities hold you back from living your life. Whoever going to f*uck with you, going to f*ck with you regardless mama! Wear that bikini! and shake that ass sis ;p

3. And unlike something like skin color, you do have the power to change how much you weigh. Workout!! I know I love me some chicken wings but I am going to start cutting down on those (KEYWORD: TRY)No sense in complaining all the time and not putting no action.

4. Find clothes that hug your curves, not go against them! No more hiding under ugly clothes. In this day & age, there are so many options for curvier chicks. You can be big, beautiful and fashionable.

5. Age, hormones, accidents, depression, having kids does things to a woman’s body, Its LIFE.

6. AANNDDD a little weight won’t stop a guy from checking you out OKURRRRR. *starts twerking*

Learn from the error of my ways! Be Confident! Be you 100% unapologetically!


A toast to my fellow big girls.

“You can have a tummy and still be Yummy” 😉

How did you overcome your insecurities? Comment below!



Peace, Love & Melanin

-The Brown Mom



  1. July 24, 2018 / 1:10 pm

    I really love how real you are in this. Like no one really ever talks about how they feel and what they can do to change it or not. Really love this hun

    • Hadassah
      July 26, 2018 / 8:23 am

      Thank you so much

  2. July 24, 2018 / 4:33 pm

    Great post! I think these are tips that can be applied to anyone with any form of body insecurities! I’ve definitely shared some of these thoughts as the akinny friend and as you said, in most cases your weight is something you can change- if you don’t like it, do something about it!

    • Hadassah
      July 26, 2018 / 8:22 am

      I agree! Thank you for reading.

  3. July 24, 2018 / 7:58 pm

    I’m still working on overcoming being the “fat” friend. I’m nowhere near what society deems as “fat” but in comparison to my friends I look much bigger and it’s hard to deal with especially in pictures. However, sometimes it pays off to be built like me because I have curves for days.

  4. Marquita
    July 24, 2018 / 11:07 pm

    I love #3 for so many reasons!!! Get it girl!

    “And unlike something like skin color, you do have the power to change how much you weigh. Workout!! I know I love me some chicken wings but I am going to start cutting down on those (KEYWORD: TRY)No sense in complaining all the time and not putting no action.”

    • Hadassah
      July 26, 2018 / 8:22 am

      Thank you !

  5. July 26, 2018 / 8:21 am

    Wow! So raw. Your realness is not only evident and appreciated but inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing this!

  6. August 7, 2018 / 11:22 pm

    I have two words for you…Thank you! For reminding me that I am more than numbers on a scale and that if I don’t enjoy the numbers on the scale I have the power to change them. I am always saying when I lose weight I’m going to…but after this post I think I will make more of an effort to live now! So yeah…thank you!!!

    • Hadassah
      August 8, 2018 / 8:13 am

      Thank you for taking the time to read! Yes you are more than that. If you learn to love yourself now you will fall depose in love when you start taking care of your body

  7. August 9, 2018 / 9:04 am

    Firstly, I want to say that I totally agree with your post and everything that i wrote in it. We all catch ourself in this phase in life when we are “fat friend”, but we all must work on ourself all the time, including our weight.

  8. Natalie
    August 28, 2018 / 11:07 am

    You sure can have a tummy and be yummy! Sometimes really all the time it starts with us and how we view ourselves.

  9. August 28, 2018 / 7:08 pm

    I love this! I can’t explain how important it is to just love yourself for who you are and not constantly criticize yourself. I constantly find myself doing this and need to step back and just realize that if I don’t love myself nobody else will either.

  10. Megan
    August 29, 2018 / 1:53 pm

    I really appreciate the positive outlook. You are so right – everyone should be comfortable and HAPPY in their own skin!

  11. September 29, 2018 / 7:07 pm

    I cannot stop laughing! you crack me up! I would be the fat friend for sure. But I am happy with how I look.

  12. October 29, 2018 / 7:43 pm

    I love this post. Love yourself regardless of your weight or height. Don’t let the insecurities sink in. Everyone is beautiful and special on their own.

    Laura |

  13. Stevie
    December 6, 2018 / 11:47 am

    I really loved this tips. So often ppl are stuck in the negative mentally of being the “fat friend”.

  14. December 6, 2018 / 12:47 pm

    I absolutely LOVED this! I’ve been the fat friend all my life, and’s I’ve just started living myself. I just do as you say and’s find clothes that work for me and now I’m also trying to eat better so that my body can feel good. I’m just trying to treat my body like someone I love!

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